Let me put it this way…

More wonderful excerpts from HeBay profiles.

“dont message me if you have put : “Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex”. sounds a bit snotty to me”

Yes it may sound a bit snotty to you and I do have that written on my profile. That’s because half of the men on here are looking for sex and I’m not (not without a relationship anyway).


“i like to enjoy myself i like nights in watching tv and go visit my parents especially my dad.”

Oooh I just love a wild night out at my parents’ house too! You really know how to let your hair down don’t you?


“ I own a residential home in Eastbourne so spoiling you won’t be a problem.”

I can’t wait for my meals on wheels and cup of horlicks before bedtime. Early nights will take on a completely new meaning with you won’t they?


“I don’t no what to put down on here I don’t think any one is willin to have a date with me or even read my profile but if there is a woman who might be interested please ask any thin. I have a sense of humour its a little weird.”

I read your profile Eeyore! What sense of humour is that?


“As Mick I’m into live music, I play the guitar a bit, juggle a bit, I’m handy with a camera. As Natalie I’m into clubbing, looking glam and being the centre of attention!”

Sounds like you spend your whole life juggling. I’m not sure I could cope with not knowing if we were going on a date or a girls’ night out.


“I am perceived as erudite by those who know me, follow me and have equivalence, where they equate with me.”

You had a dictionary for Christmas didn’t you, but one only containing the letter E. Bet you can’t wait for your birthday when you receive the letter F!


“love my music too love my trance but got headfones so yo redaall pinkfloyd the who to name fewe hloveorror fill like all sorts reall ur safe lol lile all sorts”

You lost me after the first three words. You’re writing all the right letters, but not in the right order. It must say something funny though because you LOLed!


“iam looking for some one no older then me who i fancy fat and ugly not apply !!!”

I was bowled over by your profile picture, and I can understand that a man with your physique and good looks can afford to be really choosy.


“They broke the muld when they made me so as for what makes me unique thats it. I am not fussed by appearence as I am no oil painting and haveing once been a nurse, I know that it is what is inside that counts.”

You’re right, it is important to know what’s inside a person. Since reading your profile I now insist on seeing a recent MRI scan before I date someone so I can have a good look at his vital organs. It can tell you a lot about a man!


“I don’t like people who smell like old corned beef”

I don’t either, although since leaving my job at the corned beef factory, I don’t come across quite as many.  I know this can be a real problem when you’re dating but personally I’d rather they smelt of corned beef than a week old trout. Each to their own eh? 

7 thoughts on “Let me put it this way…

  1. “I don’t like people who smell like old corned beef” While in high school I was good friends with a guy who worked at a deli and cut Kosher corned beef for hours at a time. Needless to say, no amount of showers seemed to overcome the persistent smell of corned beef. But the girls did not seem to mind.

      • I never thought I could laugh this much… thank you for providing us with these entertaining snippets!!! Hilarious indeed, I really enjoying your blog 😀

        It is lucky these guys decided to be original and not just copy and paste the example profile to make it their own – as some had done on a dating website that I had joined?

        As It would be horrible to actually go on a date with any of them Ekkkkkkkk… 😦 (my opinion) they do say their is someone for everyone!!! LUCKY them

Please post your comments just here...I'd love to hear them.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s